(semi) anonymous...
this blog is at a crossroads... some choices have to be made...
the same could be said about my life...
landofnospice started with no clear objective, merely a place to document my experiences of setting up life in a strange country with a new man, a place to publish photos and keep friends and family back home up to date on my happenings, a place to laugh (and vent) about my attempts to assimilate... the more i struggled with things, the more i wanted to cry with frustration, the more i turned to the blog and tried to turn the tears into an anecdote i could look back on and laugh about later... it became an outlet, a kind of therapy...
i discovered that i liked writing...
in the early days i didn't think too much about my anonymity, friends and family (the initial target audience) knew who i was and the occasional passing stranger didn't bother me... i didn't put my name out there, and was always careful to never mention names of others, but photos were published and i certainly never made a secret of where i lived...
blonde haired, blue eyed australians are fairly thin on the ground around here, it wouldn't take a genius to find me...
the readership demographic of the landofnospice has changed considerably since the early days and the circle has widened to include fellow expats, fellow bloggers and even the occasional ex-pat basque curious (and sometimes furious) about an outsider's take on their homeland... i've met people through the blog (which has been lovely) and i got a new job through the blog (which was frankly a little disconcerting), and some of my students read the blog (the worrying question here is which ones??)... each category comes with it's advantages and disadvantages, but lately, it has been the disadvantages of being (semi) anonymous that have been weighing on my mind...
many, many times this year i have started to write things that have inevitably ended-up in the trashcan.. worrying about the possible repercussions, if x reads this and tells y etc... it's not just me i have to worry about, it's the usual suspects who turn up on these pages as well...
the self-censorship thing is starting to get me down...
the landofnospice, my little corner of the internet which has served me so well for so long, is failing miserably to be my faithful friend in the current phase of upheaval and change in which i find myself at the moment... and i miss my faithful friend, i really do..
perhaps i need to stop, perhaps i need to change, perhaps i need a new space altogether...
crossroads...
Posts
17 whaddayareckon:
I rarely comment... or write anymore. Same problem.. it hit about this time last year...
I started a new blog... and sent a couple invites.. then realized I was making the same mistake all over again.... barring the in-laws and out laws I knew were followers.
I long to be able to write.. I NEED to write.
I have grown so attached to some of my followers and their comments on what I want to write about would mean so much... how can I leave these people behind?
I even tried a closed blog (remember)... I left it idle also.
I always go back to my old faithful and write nothing...
Maybe the new year will bring a solution.
It is difficult isn't it. You can't slag off friends and family on something that they read (well I can't anyway) and at times that is all that is on your mind and all you want to get out.
I would love to rant and rant and rant.....................
I do sympathise but haven't found the solution.
That's a tricky one. My blog also has stuff in it that make me easy to identify, and I have to write with the idea that my blog is read by people I know. There are times that I would like to write certain things but don't because of what they might think. I stopped blogging for awhile because of a personal situation that I couldn't write about because it involves others, and you really have to be careful what you say about others, for obvious reasons.
So, I don't know what to tell you, other than I hope you don't give up on blogging altogether, because I've really enjoyed what I've read on here so far. Maybe a second anonymous blog for all that "controversial" stuff? Or just writing it down in a completely private blog...I guess that it depends on how important the comments are to you. Whatever you decide, it should be something that feels right for you. Good luck.
I've kept my blog strictly anonymous (and more recently, abondoned, which is another excellent way for maintaining anonymity). But if someone who knows me ever stumbled on it, it would be really clear who I am :(
At least you've got the name sorted for your new blog :)
Ermm, that was abAndoned, in case you were wondering...
I sometimes wish I had an anonymous blog to vent on, but that's always going to be in danger of someone finding it that you wish hadn't. I feel your pain.
Inevitably there comes a moment in every blogger's life when anonanimity disappears as more and more people read your writings. What was once a safety valave is no longer safe. If this really matters to you, then now is the time to stop this one. If you feel you still have things to say, then continue. Whatever you decide I will be behind you all the way.
@eloh: so nice to see you again!! and i miss the fact that you're not posting so much anymore! but i understand why.. maybe completely anonymous is the only way to go?! maybe, as you say, the new year will bring the solution!
rosie: hello! it's not so much that i want to slag people off (although from time to time that also would be very cathartic) it's just that i have personal stuff that i can't write about, because it will affect other people... and it would be a disaster if that stuff came out on the internet (while i am in the process of working through my thoughts) before the appropriate face-to-face conversations were had.
mother theresa: thanks! i don't know what i'm going to do yet, the two blog option is one that has it's advantages, but i worry about my ability to keep 2 going at once... time will tell!!
pg: i know, you've been very good at the anonymous thing, but as you say, if someone stumbled upon it, it wouldn't be too difficult to figure out! Even being completely anonymous has it's drawbacks... how much information do you give? Do you have to change your identity completely to be anonymous? In which case, I don't think I can write!!
Erik: You always seem so open about everything on your blog... I never imagined you needed a second one to vent!!
chris: thank you for your support!! as i said before (even though, strangely, your comment dropped into my inbox after i written my other response, even though it appears above in the list!!) time will tell!!
There is a balance. For me maintaining anonymity has been key. Only 1 friend and my husband know about it. I can't imagine anyone I know stumbling across it. Nonetheless, it is the public domain, and I have to respect certain limits. People probably don't think I have limits because of some of the topics I talk of, but my rule of thumb is always whether I would be comfortable standing up for what I've said.
I can totally relate to what you are talking about, only I have always self-censored, but sometimes it pisses me off...
The other day a stranger at a coffee shop asked me if I wrote that blog about Sant Cugat. Oops. I guess I gave away too much.
Perhaps realistically the most I can aim for is to avoid having my blog come up if someone googles me. Which is still a big deal.
oh no...pls don't go....i've been away from blogland for a while and this was one of the first stops....I understand how you feel but i'm sure you'll come up with a solution....
euskalduna in london...
If you go underground, will you please send me a link to the new?
Just found your blog and I. LOVE. IT. Will catch up on more posts later. But the crossroads and self-censorship thing. Ahh, fuck 'em all perhaps?
My blog is definitely not anonymous, and as I have been complaining (and will continue to complain) about small town living here in Spain, shit might just hit the fan. As long as I don't talk badly about certain small town individuals, I suppose it should be okay. :)
If you do start a new blog, what I've done in the past is personally e-mail the readers I love with the new link. Best of luck with your endeavors, guapa! :)
Please go on, go on, go on, go on, go on .....
If you don't enjoy something, don't do it. Hope you get your mojo back!
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