silence...
i'm waiting outside the bar, friend is inside, paying the tab... it's windy, a south wind they say, but it feels cold to me... impatient to leave, i look for a spot a little more protected from the draught...
i hear someone call my name, i look around and see an ex-student, smoking a cigarette in the doorway of the bar next door... i head over, the usual greetings ensue, friend exits from the other bar, looks for me and joins us... more pleasantries, and then the inevitable question...
"where is habm?" ex student wants to know...
"working" i say... i'm not sure exactly what time it is...
the conversation flows in that way that only a few drinks under the belt make possible... ex-student's wife joins us, as does the wife of ex-students friend... more banter and laughs, they show me photos of their holiday in china... finally it's getting late, and we go our separate ways...
on the way home i pause and take stock of the evening... i feel uneasy, unsettled, unsure of why i was unable to give a straight answer to a simple question... not the right moment? not appropriate to drop a bomb like that in the middle of a chance encounter?
habm and i separated almost two months ago and i still don't know how to tell people...
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16 whaddayareckon:
Feeling for you xxx
"Telling" is tedious and painful for many reasons. Last time, I settled on a "need to know" basis, rather than go through putting on a brave face and trotting my life out for people who really didn't mean anything to me.
Sending internet hugs.
Oh geez, really sorry to hear that, hope you're ok.
I'm one of the don't need to know, just a reader of your blog and sometime commenter, but I never guessed, so you kept your news to yourself well.
Privacy in an Internet world isn't easy, but I hope you feel better that some of your readers send their best wishes and thoughts.
Andy
OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I imagine that might explain the silence around these parts. Dearest, dearest, dearest Mondraussie, all I can do is send you hugs via the internet. I can only imagine ... Hug hug hug hug.
Ouch, sorry to hear that. But it's perfectly understandable that you don't want to talk about it, especially not to casual acquaintances.
As long as you have someone trustworthy with whom you can talk about it if you want to, don't worry about having to explain yourself to the man or woman in the street.
Here's a few best wishes from France at this difficult time. But I hope it's a good time, and the change is positive, too.
Hi everyone... thanks so much for your kind words and comments, they really mean a lot to me... xxx
Besitos guapa. Good to see you back.
Wow, that must be hard. I'm very sorry to hear that. Hang in there, and don't worry too much about telling people, you don't have to explain everything to anybody...it's none of their business.
Sending positive vibes your way from Southern Spain...
Telling is the hardest part. But you don't have to do it! It's none of the town's business anyway...
Es difícil hablar de cosas que nos duelen, y evidentemente podemos hacerlo: cuando, como y con quien queramos; pero en cualquier caso deberíamos hacerlo cuanto antes, para que el dolor salga y deje de hacernos daño.
Un beso,
Pvega
I don't have any luck with Outlook Express email accounts, so am commenting here instead, to send you more good wishes and hope that you're surviving.
Still thinking of you. Hope all is as ok as it can be.
Just dropping in to wish you well and hope you're ok.
!! WV: syster...
don't worry, i'm still here and ok, just not feeling like writing anything at the moment... thanks for checking in... xx
Yep, jus' droppin' by
I hadn't read you in a while - stopped blogging myself for a while. Just wanted to say that I've been there and done that so I can empathize. It was very hard to answer the "why's" and "are you sure this is what you want" but I had to do what was best for me. Just be true to yourself. It's a bit scary the first few months but everyday you will get stronger and you will find an inner peace. I have never once looked back and am happier now that I ever have been before. Te deseo todo lo mejor del mundo y acuerdate que la fuerza la tienes dentro siempre :) xoxo
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